As a rule I've always avoided the topic of religion. I've always had the vague attittude that people should be allowed to believe what they choose to believe and we shouldn't judge them for it. But I've always felt slightly uncomfortable with religious conversations because I've never been quite sure what I believe myself and somehow always felt a little bit like I was on the opposing side of a one person argument.
I suppose I've been agnostic for years - I couldn't really see how God existed, I had that kind of discomfort whenever anyone referred to their belief in God but somehow I was a little bit too scared to admit it.
So who or what was I afraid of? God? Was I afraid to admit I don't believe in God because the God I don't believe in might smite me? That's nonsense right? Or does that mean secretly I do believe in God and I don't want to admit that either because my nearest and dearest are out and proud atheists?
Now there's a question.
Picture the scene...Liverpool are in the Champions League final, they're losing 3 -0 and it's half time and I close my eyes and whisper "Please please please let us win".
[This might be a bad example.because unless you've been in stasis for the last 6 years you'll know that Liverpool did indeed go on to win the cup and I don't believe for a second that I (along with countless other Liverpool fans) offered up a little prayer and God heard it!]
Does my little moment of pleading constitute some kind of belief of a so called higher power?
Who am I directing my plea to? Or am I just thinking aloud?
Maybe people get some comfort in believing there is a supreme being controlling everything. Maybe the world is just one big never ending game of Risk being played by a bunch of guys called Jesus, Abraham and Mohammed.
I think it's entirely feasible that these people existed, I think the stories could be urban legends passed from generation to generation getting slightly exaggerated each time until they became miracles - parting the sea, walking on water...
"yeah so I was in the bar with Jesus, and it was the end of night we were the last ones to get our supper and someone hands Jesus a bottle of water and Jesus gives him our bottle of wine. He's always sharing our stuff - Judas was fuming. Remember the time he dropped the picnic hamper and all the ants stole our bread and fish - they were everywhere, thousands of 'em!"
There's a small part of me that wishes I had something I believed in because I think there are situations when a person's faith seems to bring them great comfort. But I just find it so unrealistic to believe in something that cannot be proven, where there is no evidence. And I guess that is where I finally accept and understand what it is that I believe in.
Since Science adapts its belief according to the evidence and as there is no evidence of God we can only really believe 1 of 2 things - a) God doesn't exist or b) God has gone into hiding coz he's sick of listening to stupid prayers about football results.
Either way, we're on our own.
Except for the aliens.