Friday, 21 January 2011

Golden Goads

I must say I thought Ricky Gervais' opening speech at the Golden Globes was hilarious.

And judging by the amount of celebrities in the audience laughing equally as hard as I was the offence caused must be speculative by the media who have to turn everything into a scandal.

Even the shocked faces were covering the desire to laugh, glancing around to see if it was ok to have a chuckle...they only needed to look at Alec Baldwin who was wiping tears throughout most of the speech to be given the green light to laugh too.

Even Johnny depp appeared to raise a smile at the roasting of The Tourist.

I don't know what all the fuss is about. The second time Gervais has been asked to present the show - they knew what they were letting themselves in for.

Celebrities are so far removed from reality these days that maybe it's good to let them see themselves as they are portrayed in the media.
What? Are we supposed to believe that Robert Downey Jr is unaware that the media have reported to the world that he was in rehab? These people spend their lives courting the media, wanting to be globally recognised to the point where there's no such thing as bad publicity...

...except when it's in front of an audience of their peers.

Nice one Ricky - frankly I like you all the more now that you're not "a little fat man who's quite likeable"!

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

The Cubital Tunnel takes its Toll

I've been suffering with a lot of pain in my right hand these last few weeks. I always blame any pain to my hand on an old injury when I was playing footy in the park in London. I got pushed over and used my arm to break my fall. It flares up regularly but more so in winter.

So I finally went to my GP today to raise the issue. The pain of late has become so bad that it MAKES ME CRY like the girl I am. It's also causing me sleepless nights and my work is suffering. Spending most of my time on a computer, using a mouse and trying to create designs and animations takes its toll on a sore aching hand.

The doctor explained to me that the Ulnar nerve that runs down the back of the arm, across the elbow joint and down into the hand can be easily injured...just leaning on an arm rest, bending it consistently past 45 degrees. The only thing he could prescribe to me was to keep my arm and wrist off the desk when i'm typing or clicking.

Have you ever tried to draw on a computer without the hand steadying support of a desk?

Well I have. And it sucks!

On the plus side, if left untreated my hand will eventually deform and turn into a claw! Yay! I can go to TV fancy dress parties as Big Bird!

Obviously I did some googling. read other people's stories of Cubital Tunnel Syndrome and from tomorrow will be the proud owner of an elbow support that will stop me bending my arm past 45 degrees.

Then maybe I'll get some sleep!

I hope the guy that pushed me over ten years ago stubs his toe. Every day!

Enforced Jollity - a condition of employment?

Firstly, may I apologise for the length of time I have been away from the sofa. I moved house and now I share my sofa with a boy and 2 cats. I'm pretty sure you can guess which 2 dominate the sofa in our household.

But I have plenty to share and will indulge in a little ranting over the next few weeks.

My current full time employment is in the voluntary sector. You know that sector of work that does all kinds of good stuff in the community and doesn't make any kind of profit? That sector that has been around for hundreds of years and isn't the brain child of our new government.

All these funding cuts and giving the power to the community instead of central government sounds great in theory, but actually, cuts to local government funding means cuts to the funding the third sector receive from their local council resulting in masses of redundancies and a loss of valuable and much needed community projects in the area.

I'm not being funny right...but how much did our government actually spend on those fireworks for New Years Eve? And really? Were they necessary?
It's alright love, I may be unemployed now but at least we saw some lovely sparklers on the TV.

So faced with inpending unemployment a few of us decided that as the shape of our organisation will be completely different from April, we should have a party. Because there's only so many leaving drinks we can all go to!

Now I like organising stuff, so I volunteered to be one of the party planners. This is my vision for the party:
We hire a venue - that's a must, there'll be about 100 of us and just piling into the pub is a bit unrealistic.
The venue will have a DJ and a bar - they're both very important - well the bar is anyway!
We all bring a plate of food to share and create a makeshift buffet - coz we've got no funding for this...
we all turn up on the night, get drunk, chat to our work mates who we may never see again, and maybe cut a few shapes on the dancefloor.

Being of sound mind and having a generally good feel for the other employees of the organisaton after 4 years there I feel fairly certain that my idea for the party - simple though it may be - will be pretty much what everyone else is hoping for.

But I'm up against ideas that aim to bring joy and fun and entertainment and ice breaking and fucking enforced jollity to the occasion. If anyone tells me that at my leaving do I have to get up and perform some kind of routine rehearsed with my team then frankly, thanks but no thanks...I'll probably swerve it and go the pub with all the other normal work colleagues who spend enough of their days doing bloody ice breakers, networking and talking to people they don't know. If I don't know someone in my company on the day I am leaving - I'm not going to spend my farewell party talking to them when I could be spending it with the work mates I actually give a shit about.

I mean ok maybe it would be sort of funny to see the various reactions of people when they turn up to have a few scoops and find themselved ushered into a group of strangers to play spin the bottle, but really - We're not organising a show, we're not putting on an event. We just want to go and get pissed with some people we've grown to care about and may never see again. Now what is so hard to plan about that??

Thursday, 22 July 2010

Floating around in a bubble

It's a good job bubbles float otherwise I may have been in danger of drowning this week.

I don't read the newspapers, partly because the general concensus amongst my peers is so varied that I'm almost scared to choose one for fear of being sneered at, but mainly because most of the news in the world just doesn't interest me. Rightly or wrongly I have no interest at all in politics, because there's nothing I can do about how the country is run, for all our moaning about the state of the country what do I know about running a country? Nothing. And I'm not egotistical enough to want to have all that power. And I'm way too lazy to want that kind of responsibility - let's see - Prime Minister - Pros, get to make decisions about what everyone has to do in the country, get to walk around importantly and be all "Look at me I'm the man" Cons - no time on the daily agenda for watching TV.

And let's be honest, TV is way higher on my list of priorities than most things!

But not the News! Because let's face it, how much of the news is genuine? If I start watching the news or reading papers then I'll start getting all hung up on what to believe, they say "You can't believe what you read in the paper" So why bother reading it at all??

The only paper I ever bother reading is the Crosby Herald, my local paper, full of stories about what's going on down my street, in my village, what new cafe just opened and when the next line dancing class starts. It's real genuine news stories about real people in my area. Sometimes there's a bit of scandal and sometimes there's a feel good story about some celebrity coming to open a childrens centre. But no one has to make up any stories in order to keep their job. No one has to create scandals.

If I want to learn anything further afield I watch programmes like Mock the Week or Charlies Brookers Newswipe, so I can learn what's going on in the world without all the bullshit!

I generally only know what's going on because other people read papers and talk about it. I didn't give a crap about John terry having an affair with Wayne Bridge's bird, of the scandal, they were meant to be friends... thousands, in fact probably millions of couples break up all over the world because one of them has had an affiar...sometimes even with a best mate...does it get splashed across the news of the world? No it doesn't. Who really cares about people having affairs? John Terry should be front page news for his footballing successes or failures - what he does in his personal life should be kept private, and he certainly shouldn't be penalised professionally for it. Now I'm not a JT fan at all, I hate Chelsea but same goes for anyone else - I don't care who Jordan married, my mate got married last year but to my knowledge that didn't make the news either.

The reports on the John Terry affiar were all about what people were saying and very little about the affair itself. Coz when people aren't prepared to talk about something the press just turn that into the news story instead...I mean for Gods sake - is this really what the general public are interested in?

I heard a story recently that there was going to be some big Steven Gerrard scandal emerging, then it was reported he'd got his wife's sister pregnant, and then we heard actually his wife doesn't even have a sister and it was all a hoax...SERIOUSLY have you vultures got nothing better to do than subject the worlds population to pointless irrelevant stories??

But the fact is, all this pointless news has ruined my ability to learn any genuine newsworthy facts. For example I was probably the only person in the country who didn't know who Raoul Moat was. My boss looks at me in dispair on a daily basis when I say "Who?" or "Oh why what's happened?"

So yeah, as a result of wandering around in my own little news free bubble I had no idea that the street next to mine was flooded on Tuesday, and off I went driving to Tescos only to get stuck in a police controlled tail back of traffic.

But it doesn't inspire me to start paying attention to the news...as far as I can see the only news pages that tell any truth are the TV guides.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

El Nino

I don't know why there's so much debate of the 'will he stay or will he go' variety surrounding Fernando Torres.

The argument for him leaving appears to be:
• Liverpool aren't in the champions league so he won't stay at a club where he can't achieve his ambition of a champions league medal.

The way I see it, and I'm just a girl and should maybe stick to topics I'm more familiar with such as knitting and kittens, but didn't we kind of put all our eggs in one basket? We expected to win the league last season based on our previous season with Torres scoring for fun. But then he spent most of last season injured or recovering from operations. And when he did play it was a desperate measure and he got brought on before he was fit enough and guess what happened... Oh yeah he got injured again.

We have placed so much expectation on Torres working miracles for us that when he was on the bench we criticised Rafa for not playing him, but when he comes on unfit and is set back again we moan at Rafa for playing him too soon. Rafa couldn't do right for doing wrong where Torres was concerned.

When he's fit Torres has such an impact on the way the rest of the team plays. They look more confident and they play better. But if we are going to improve on last seasons dreadful performance we have to stop relying on one man to do it... Especially if that one man appears to be made of glass.

Here's why I have never thought Torres was leaving Liverpool this season... If Torres is fit all season any team he plays for is capable of winning whatever league they compete in... He wants a champions league medal but getting one by sitting on the bench injured at Man City won't be much of an achievement...

Torres strikes me as a player with a love if the game and a passion and loyalty to his team. Joining a team that has ruthlessly bought their success by a massive cash injection won't give him the same pride as winning with a team that have the history and passion of Liverpool.

And it seems to me that if Torres had been fit all season we would probably have finished in the top 4 and if nothing else he'll at least want to put that right this season.

We need to stop relying on one player... We need more players that can effect the game on the pitch and score like it's a hobby! We can't just hope Torres is fit and then feel sorry for ourselves when he's injured and we start losing.

But we also need to stop worrying about whether he'll stay or go. No player is bigger than the team. If Torres leaves we'll replace him with someone else capable of scoring goals.

But there's just as much chance he'll stay and spend half the season injured again.

So why would he bother leaving? Im sure he'd rather be fit and earn his medals with us than win them from the treatment room somewhere else.

Thursday, 1 July 2010

How to look good on paper.

So I am at the grand old age where I'm thinking about the fact that I would like to get on the property ladder. But wait. I can't. Because through my own naivety or possibly, stupidity I took out a few loans and creditcards back in the day when I earned a low wage but lived in the most expensive city in England. Now I live in one of the most deprived cities in England and earn good money...but due to the debt incurred by the former I'm blacklisted.

When I moved back to Liverpool 5 years ago I was unemployed for 6 months. I was withdrawing cash from my credit card to put into the bank to cover the monthly loan and credit card payments. It was a big old mess and in the end, when my debt repayments were 82% of my monthly income, I signed up with a debt management company to help me out. Of course back then I was only taking home £600 a month. 4 years later after progressing well in my career I'm much better off. But I was warned at the start of the program that it would go on my credit report and I wouldn't be able to get any future credit.

So out of interest I applied to look at my credit report with Experian. And get this...I had a credit score of 842 - FAIR! apparently only 38% of the population have a higher than fair score. That doesn't sound so bad!
And I checked my report and there's nothing on there that even refers to my old debts. It shows a quite reliable person who pays her mobile phone contract and her monthly bank fee on time.

So where's my badcredit gone? Coz trust me - I'm still paying it off!

And what does that mean? If I applied for a mortgage would I not be laughed at as I'd imagined I would?

Well anyway. I'm a long way off saving money for a deposit and such like as yet and when I do I dare say I will have finally repaid all my debts.

But still I'm feeling much happier about my credit rating/score safe in the knowledge that I'm not on the mythical blacklist afterall!!

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Bandwagonesque

I know it's 2010 and we're generally over the whole gender stereotyping thing but there's still a sort of wierd blur around football. I love football, I'm maybe not as passionate about it as my male friends but I'm certainly way more passionate about it than most of my female friends.

So while most women complain about being a football widow: "They're playing again? They played last week!" there is a whole different view point when the World Cup rolls round. Suddenly women all over the country see the joy of standing in a crowded pub, drinking beer and trying to catch a glimpse of a screen in the gap between hulking great shoulders. Men smile down at their girlfriends singing "Three Lions" at the top of her voice and never once wonder why he's never heard her sing "You'll Never Walk Alone".

I left work early to catch the England v Slovenia game. My boss had booked the afternoon off and was quite happy for me to use some flexitime to leave at 2:30pm. Then we got word from the Chief Exec (Sunderland fan. Female) that everyone was free to leave from 2pm if they wanted to watch the game.

Defoe's goal is being shown over and over as the only goal England have scored in the World Cup. I knew we'd go through, I knew we'd step it up for the final group game, but we should be better than that. We are a football nation afterall.

And have you noticed that every advert on TV refers to the World cup. Macdonalds has a whole poem dedicated to people watching the World cup while eating a big mac, and on the final screen it says Official Restaurant...What does that mean? MacDonalds is officially a restaurant?

I suppose I don't watch athletics except during the Olympics. I guess even those most dedicated haters of football want to support their country.

There is one thing I don't like about football though - the celebrity of it. I've never understood the attraction to the celebrity world and I don't understand why people are paid such ridiculous amounts of money - ok so you can convincingly pretend to be a mass murderer/battered wife/slightly humourous person in love...but do you deserve to be earning millions of pounds for that? Compare how much Keifer Sutherland gets paid to play Jack Bauer with how much a Police officer earns...do we really value being entertained over being kept safe?

Football is a massive thing. It dominates the TV, people's lives revolve around it and the price tag that goes with it is astonishing. The government has just raised taxes in order to try and get the country out of debt and yet football players are earning £90k a week. A WEEK???? I wouldn't know what to do with £90k a year...I mean really...Nurses save lives, they care for people, Firefighters save lives there are people out there earning crap wages but doing jobs that the world needs to survive.

Is playing footy a few times a week really deserving of £90k a week? And if these plyers are on such over inflated salaries...don't you think they should be trying a bit harder to win?