Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Medical catastrophes

So following on from the scary chest echo, a week later I was called in to the hospital again to get a 24 hour blood pressure monitor fitted. 3pm on a Saturday afternoon, to be returned at 2pm on the Sunday. I mean way to ruin a weekend!

But at least it went back before the Merseyside derby kicked off!

The nurse told me that I wouldn't notice the monitor after the first few readings, once I got used to it going off every 20 minutes. And I was told that the arm band would only go tight if my blood pressure was high, and of course as all we're doing is testing the hypothesis that I am scared of doctors, it was destined to be a painless exercise.

Of course the damn thing went off twice on the drive home. "Keep your arm still when you hear it beep so it can get the reading" Dammit...each time it went off I was at traffic lights, and then had to crawl along in 1st gear until I could move my arm again. And oh my God did it hurt...the arm band went so tight my fingers were starting to tingle.

Saturday night we had a family meal round at my you might think that a family meal is cause for high blood pressure but actually my family is pretty cool. We are one of those rare families that actually get on well and dare I say it, like each other.
Although after lots of abuse on my decision not to drink while being monitored I was in danger of being disowned by my siblings.

Many conversations were half abandoned that night at the distraction of a loud beep and a whirring noise coming from my end of the table. And the ongoing insinuations that I was breaking wind all night started to wear a bit thin even for me and my juvenile mind that still laughs at fart jokes!

4 weeks later i finally went to see a consultant to get the verdict of all my tests. And I was officially diagnosed with high blood pressure.

Now on the one hand I'm naturally a little concerned about that but at the same time was thinking "in your face Mr. White Coat Hypertension man!"

The consultant told me I had a little damage to my heart due to the long term hypertension but it's completely reversible and promptly started me on a course of perindopril. I say a course...although as he sternly told me "This isn't something you can cure with a few pills, you will be on medication for this for the rest of your life" I felt like I'd failed a test and on my own head be it!

He asked me if I had plans to start a family. No. "ok then well if you do you will need to change your tablets because you can't be on these if you are pregnant." Can I say again....No! he laboured the point for ages and ages, and I was close to saying "God! we only got together last week I have no plans to start a family any time...never mind anytime soon!"

He also told me not to read the side effects because I might get scared. My sister thoughtfuly looked them up in t'internet and told me all about it. I am potentially about to turn into a mutant. Hope I get super powers too!

After a week, I'm no closer to auditioning for the X Men. But God I'm tired. And the bad guys will scream and beg for mercy when I close my eyes and fall asleep!